WISH

Wish for the closing apocalypse
Wish black blank darkness to prevail
Wish that final deathly silence
And not another breath or sigh


Wish there were no tomorrows
Wish nothing remained to be seen
Wish it rained tonight like Doom’s night
And a new world got born


Wish the world were cleaned of all uncouth –
And everything that disquiets,
Wish it were unbroken peace thereafter;
With no nightmares

Or need for dreams.

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A Thought..on Marriage

Marriage is one fragile topic to take up for discussion or practice, and yes, I haven't graduated even after going through it myself - can't corroborate as to whether it is THE most important thing for women, but I have a theory. For a girl, being married and not being married bring exactly the same quanta of happiness and/or unhappiness but under different heads - not an ounce less, not an ounce more.

Why do we want to get married ? After one degree of maturity of mind, to me marriage seeps down to 2 main reasons - to extend a family, going through the unexplained joy of creating and growing a tiny hope ! The second reason for marriage is the lonelisness & lack of companionship in the old age - when your parents are no more, your friends are scattered you-dont-know-where and your relatives are out of sight.

Maugham once remarked through one of his characters - marriage is the best profession for women. But that is really a very different perspective from the one we cultivate today. There is this element of insecurity and vulnerability of course, but with the current generation of women, it is solely at the emotional corner of mind - marriage is not a shortcut to a safe ongoing source of money.

Taking the financial necessity out of it, let us look at what remains of a marriage. Well, we cannot deny that unlike earlier times, when a women comprised of a body and a heart, women of our times have a mind too. She needs all three - physical, emotional AND cerebral stimulation from her environment - in varying degrees, but the last often takes a predominating frontseat.

Now this being the case, given the exposure available to them, marriage really loses some, if not a lot, of its earlier significance and relevance. That is precisely why I notice, even among my immediate friends, coming from middle class bengali families like mine, there is an increasing comfort with the idea of staying single. She can work alone, think and grow alone and also has friends at different proximities to give her companionship and emotive support and mental stimuli. So, instead of being an obvious course of life, marriage is an option for her - something she will first weigh and measure and match with her temperament and then decide upon.

At a personal level, marriage happened to me because I consciously never allowed myself to churn it in my head - I made constant, honest and alert efforts never to brainstorm and weigh the pros and cons and aftermath and probable effects and defects of marriage like I do before all other rational decisions of my life - perhaps the reason why I ended up doing it so smoothly !!!

I just looked at one wonderful person who had been my best friend for 6 years and at that moment , looked particularly sweet and honest, and I went for it without allowing my mind to question the sanctity and limitations of this institution ! THAT is the rule - keep your fondly fostered and matured intellect out of this social labyrinth called marriage - else you'll never make it to the wedding day !!!

Marriage isn't bad - but the best way to handle it is not to expect it to be too good, either :o)


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At the Tower of London

Near the Tower of London, at the front of it and all around, there are wooden boards with pictures and texts that tell you the history of the building. And other details.

It has the same writings in many languages - including English, French, Bengali, Hindi and - Braille. I saw these little dotted inscriptions at the very end of each page. The last language, the language of those people who can never see the object on which the history and stories were based.
Still.

I wondered what purpose this would serve. Why would anyone want to be aware of, leave aside read about, things that are not perceptible through his available senses - does it not merely heighten his sense of loss, deprivation and helplessness. I really thought about this long after I left the place.

You know what, perhaps it actually works the other way round. You welcome and embrace whatever comes your way, in whatsoever quantum, and plant that inside to enrich your self; use that tiny stream of light to light up a corner rather than pronounce the existing blackness. Feel blessed for that single ray even if your home is not flooded with light and someone else's is. Because that is just the way it is. Not too good or fair, perhaps, but at day-end it isn't really the flat score that matters, it is more about the differential, the path travelled, the personal victories and the inner triumphs.


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Yesterlife

Life brings you small pieces of broken moments at times,

While you naively look at them and wonder where the verities went wrong :

The window that brought in the childhood yellow sun -

Or the balcony that showed in the first spell of shower,

The baby rabbit that followed your steps right through the night,

A torn newspaper remnant of Calvin or Opel - Life is a Journey ?



A montage of colours and moments so small,

They are almost intangible.

If not for the silence they bring.

A collage of colours, thinned and melted out by tears - trickle down slow

Along the quiet winding path that goes to everything

I once called Life.


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